Everybody knows, my life has never been the same since I went to Japan. But right now, a disaster found me. And while I'm not trying to bask in my current missery, it is overhelming. Dreams crashed, hopes slaughtered and so on.
These past two years have been a constant struggle between ‚I want to die (no, you don't, not really)‘ and ‚I just want to run away, far far away‘. And - oh right - and a constant fight against the urge to burst in tears. Which I so often lost.
(Oh, the times I cried in the sub…)
(Oh, the times I cried in the sub…)
And the appaling realization, that I can't be really happy for others, because I always jump to compare their succeses to my miserable stagnation.
Don't misunderstand me - there were moments of happiness, with my friends and family, with books and games and my writing, but my misery had always been nearby, lurking in the shadows and sometimes insolently bathing in the light
Life wasn't good. It's not that great yet, but I think I have mostly moved beyond the death stage.
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