I fucked up my life

I fucked up.
I've hit the lowest point in my life so far.

I've just failed second try of a really huge exam, which gives me about two months to prepare for a third one. And if by any bad chance I failed that one, I would have three more next year. Next year. And than it's over, one way or another.

But I need to do it now, this year, this academic year.

I also need to write my theses and all that this academic year. The theses, as I've decided yesterday, I'm going to change the topic of. Ha.

And I need to find out a topic for my Ph.D. application, which I'm not even sure I'd be able to proceed with.

I'm nearly twenty seven. Single since the day I was born. For the past seven years I dedicated my life, my thoughts and my time to university, to studying. But it might be all for nothing.
27, single, achieved nothing so far.

And so I'm crying in my bed in the dark room at half past two in the morning and writing on my blog, 'cause I need to tell somebody, but I can't put this on Facebook, 'cause my parents would worry and I can't write to any of my friends, 'cause they'd be all nice and supporting and „Look, I'm a failure, too!“ … except they're not… or it would be those friends who were in my position and failed or gave up and I don't want to remind them.

And did I mention, my major is completely useless?

If this isn't personal lowest,  then I don't know what is.